Tuesday, March 10, 2009

March 10, 2009: A Mortified Mother's Lament

March 10, 2009: As many of my oldest friends know, I often like to take a situation and make it into a poem.  More so to entertain myself, probably!  Anyway, here are some more poetic prose for your perusing...

A Mortified Mother's Lament
Kind Lady, you are so polite in every way, 
I always get a "bonne journee!"
But aujourd hui I was mortified by what you had to say:
The twins were awful at school today.

They play with toys and don't put them back?
They ignore your commands and continue to stack?
At lunch they grab at the basket of bread?
They scream and yell until they are fed?
They refuse to eat other foods that are there?
No S'il vous plaît or Merci's or gestures of care?

Oh, Kind Lady, for this I am ashamed!
For I am not surprised by these things you have named.
In my dreams I envision les filles who are calm,
who have been polite since the day they fit in my palm.
Sorry to say that it isn't that way.
For you and your teachers that can make for a challenging day.

Dear Dr. Spock, 
Is this normal for twins? Crazy behavior that can give you the spins?
Is this behavior like kids of any other? 
Mortified Mother

Yes, Kind Lady, I will speak to them tonight.
Yes, it's possible the language barrier contributes to this awful sight.
Apologies, je m'excuse, for having to tell me such news.
(I wished during this conversation I could push snooze...)

"I want to go home to the old house," Grace replies.
"I just want to do whatever I want," Mia sighs.
These in response to my question of, "Why?"

This morning I told the Kind Lady to observe,
I spoke with the girls - they'll wait at lunch to be served.
They won't take bread until given permission-
Please and thank you will not be in omission.
The toys will be cleaned up and put on the shelves.
They'll listen to others and be aware of themselves.
They'll be perfect angels and children to be emulated
(OK - maybe my promise was slightly overstated!)

Kind Lady says,"That is best, thanks for helping, like this everyone wins.
D'accord, merci beaucoup, we are delighted to have the twins!
They have "high" spirits and energy that abounds!
Their teacher enjoys them in class and their unique sounds." 
(sounds probably like: "That's mine, Give it back, I'm not done?
I'm hungry, She took that, Don't touch me, I need more than one?")

At the end of the day, God Bless them for having compassion.
For taking three American children who are out of fashion.
Who may need some help with their manners and French
Who from time to time need to be put on the bench.
Lucky are we, Kind Lady,  that you're all so nice and not cruel
And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't kick them out of school!

Pictured Above: Grace and Mia being their mischievous selves at dinner, Grace and Mia when they literally fit snugly into the palm of our hands.


  1. This is a true story the way - it happened yesterday. Not so poetically, but none the less...

  2. A poem in response:

    My, oh My!
    It was just a matter of time!
    Sister, I am so sorry
    That you must deal with such folly!
    It's likely the age
    Combined with being somewhere strange
    And there's being twins
    For this, no one wins.
    Best of luck with your corrections
    And hope the girls are open to new actions.

    Your loving sister,

  3. Boy, oh boy......sorry you have to go through this....when Remy was growing up, children were hardly ever seen, and rarely ever heard, as they were sent away to boarding school, miles away from home, when they were 8 or 9. The French are very strict with their children....Grace and Mia will get it. Keep the faith!

  4. Well, I think they need their Grandmother!!! They were perfect when we were there...always full of food, never whiney,neat as a pin and very typical almost 4 year old Haverkampfs!!!